So many times through the years, I have heard that being gay is a choice that people make. I have a hard time wrapping my mind around this for a few reasons. Why would some choose to be abused? Most homosexuals today are still discriminated against. How many times in 2011 alone did we hear about gay teens committing suicide? Why would a person choose to be gay, and risk losing family and friends? Why would anyone want to wake up each day and realize that they can't marry the love of their life because of the stupid laws in this country. Sure, some states how granted gays the right to marry, but it is just a small step towards equality. When will ALL states allow gay marriage?

Gays, bisexuals, lesbians and transgendered people do not make the choice to be who they are. Their sexual orientation is determined before birth. Do they make the choice to ACT on their sexual urges? Yes. Ultimately however, you can not choose who you are attracted to.

With that said, I want to stress that there is NOTHING wrong with being gay, or bisexual or transgendered. I applaud those who come out and who embrace their sexuality. I frown towards those that have a problem with gay rights and being gay in general. No matter what someones belief is, it is NOT immoral or wrong to be a guy in love with another guy.. or a woman in love with another woman. Love is love and love is a wonderful thing.

I am very disappointed in those that don't take being gay seriously. Girls that think it its ok to be bisexual one night just to gain attention from their guy friends. It isn't something you can turn on and off and to pretend you are gay is making a mockery of something that some people live with everyday.

Recently actress Cynthia Nixon has gained some heat because of her poor choice of words. She stated that she has been straight, and gay, and gay is better. She said for her it IS a choice. Well Cynthia Nixon, if you can be straight AND gay, you are not a lesbian. You, my dear, are bisexual.

I don't like that we have to wait to have equal rights for gays. It makes my heart sad. I chose to marry a man, whom I love very much, but I have been bisexual my entire life. I am not ashamed in that. I very much want all gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgendered people to get the love and respect they deserve. It doesn't matter what they do in their bedroom, or who they are attracted to. If it bothers you to see two people in love, no matter their gender, holding hands in public or showing affection, maybe you have bigger issues than you realize. So many would rather take away the rights of people just because they are "different." Is it better to see war,violence, poverty and hurt? Wouldn't you think people would much rather see peace and people in love? I know I sure would.

I talk about gay rights a lot. I post about it a lot on my Facebook. I don't plan on stopping being an advocate for gay rights until we ALL have equal rights.

I believe in free speech and everyone should be able to feel how they feel, but when your thoughts and actions start hurting others, I have a big problem with that.

I am a huge fan of the It Gets Better Project. Please take a look at the website. http://www.itgetsbetter.org/

"Every closed eye is not sleeping, and every open eye is not seeing."-
Bill Cosby

Please open your eyes and REALLY see and open your mind.

Hello faithful followers!

I haven't been a very good role model as far as dieting goes. I make no excuses. I am also going to stop being so upset about it and get back on the wagon! I admit, I was bummed about gaining a few pounds but then I realized I have the option to get back on track. I want to see a great change in myself. Not only mentally but physically and with the right mind set, I know I can do this. I am not destined to be fat. I am not destined to be miserable and negative. I am the only one who can change how I view the world.

Every day stresses don't make it easy but I honestly hate being a disappointment so that is another reason I need to do this.

Weight Watchers is the program I am using and recently they revamped their points system to PointsPlus. They are making all fruits (except avocado) 0 points, which is a fabulous change in my opinion. All non-starchy vegetables are 0 points as well. Daily points went up (but so did the point value for some foods.) I was doing 23 points a day with no flex points. Now I am doing 29 points a day and I am bringing back my flex points (for those times where I just NEED to indulge a little.)I have the old points companion book and cookbook but I really need the new updated versions. So I am mostly using the old points system for now. Eat Right. Be Active. Repeat! That is Weight Watchers new motto. I like it. I also like the saying " Eat to live. Don't live to eat."

I am trying to be a little more active. I have been dealing with some health issues so hopefully things will pick back up again for me. I just need to visualize the end result and the end feelings I will have :-)

I now have two children in school full time. Mikey is in first grade, and Nathan is in kindergarten. So, I am home all day with the two little ones. I do the mommy thing all day but I am wanting to branch out a little and do something for myself.

I received my A.A.S degree in Human Services back in May of this year. My husband and I both decided that in order to get a full time job, and work around annoying schedule issues, I would wait until I have all four children in school full time. Which will not be happening for another 3 years.

Well, that is fine with me, but I want to make some extra money. My question here is what do I do with myself? I am a certified respite care provider through the state of NY so I am legally able to work with developmentally disabled people. However, in order to do a lot of that kind of work one needs their license and a vehicle. One of those two things I do not have. A license. Why you ask? Well because of my ongoing struggle with anxiety (but that can be addressed at another time.) I could do it in my home, which is what I am thinking about. I just need to have one room certified for proper usage by the client. If I wanted a full time-live in client I would need to go through the whole process of getting my entire house certified and though that would be doable, I am just not sure if I want that type of commitment.

Then there is the idea of babysitting in my home part time. I don't want to go through the process that it takes to be certified to be a daycare provider. I am sure I could find local people who would allow me to watch their kids but let's be honest here-I don't really "like" other people's children very much. I can tolerate them at best. I am sure once I get my stress and anxiety under control I would feel differently about other people's spawn.

I have also toyed with the idea of going back to a department store. Do I want to do that? I just don't know.

So, what are your thoughts?

It sounds so cliche' but, my husband is the love of my life. My soul mate and my best friend. I have been with Mike for 13 years now. It was like a roller coaster for a few years but whenever push came to shove, we had each others backs. He has been my rock through my entire adult life. I can talk to him about anything. He is the main supporter in my struggle with anxiety. I don't think I tell him enough how much he means to me. I take for granted that he will always be here and I really shouldn't. I can be myself with him and be comfortable.

Mike has seen me at my worst and still expressed his love for me. I am not always the most likable person, and I don't always treat him the way I should but I can not imagine my life without him in it. Just to look into his eyes everyday, and to hug him and kiss him-it still gives me butterflies 13 years into the relationship. We both have our flaws of course, and I have come to be ok with that.

Mike and I are so connected. I can be thinking of something and he will say it. It is strange but very cool :-)

With Mike in my life I know that I will always be loved and I will always be ok because he will make sure of it.

So to update a little about my weight. I went back up to 194 a few weeks ago. Now I am back down to 188 thanks to working out more (YAY Wii Fit Plus) and eating less. Being sick the week of Christmas helped too. At this point, even losing 20 pounds would make me happy. It is so hard. I joke around that I used all my willpower on quitting smoking, but it is true. I have to really push myself to lose weight and to be healthier. When I quit smoking it was easier than this. I know somewhere inside of me there is a skinnier hotter sexier Kelli waiting to get out!

This is a place where I do not have to worry about people bitching that I am selfish and that "everyone thing is about you!" because guess what? It IS about me

Well, you already know that I have an evil side and a good side. I am the epitome of what a Gemini stands for. I am starting to learn more about astrology and horoscope signs in general and it is amazing how much a Gemini I am. Example: "The most beautiful part of Gemini girls are their beautiful eyes. Sometimes fascinating combination of green shade are seen in their eyes." I do indeed have beautiful green eyes. "The Gemini woman's ideal home is a place where her family can feel free and relaxed, especially in expressing their individualities. As a mother, she is great fun but not always tolerant. In essence, her patience tends to run out rather quickly." Again, very true. "Since they lack the quality of conscientiousness, they are apt to fight a losing battle in any attempts they make to be moral (in the widest sense of the word). Their good qualities are attractive and come easily to them. They are affectionate, courteous, kind, generous, and thoughtful towards the poor and suffering - provided none of the activities resulting from expressing these traits interferes too greatly with their own lives and comforts. They quickly learn to use their outward attractiveness to gain their own ends, and when striving for these they will use any weapon in their armory - unscrupulous lying, and cunning evasiveness; escaping blame by contriving to put it on other people, wrapped up in all the charm they can turn on. In their better moments they may strive to be honest and straightforward, but self-interest is almost always the victor. If things go against them, they sulk like children.
Also like children, they demand attention, admiration, and the spending on them of time, energy and money, throwing tantrums if they don't get what they want. They reflect every change in their surroundings, like chameleons, and can become pessimistic, sullen, peevish and materialistically self-centered if circumstances force them to struggle in any way. If the conditions of life become really adverse, their strength of will may desert them entirely. They can become uncertain of themselves, either withdrawn, or nervously excitable worriers, sullenly discontented, hard and irritable, with "Self" looming ever larger in their struggles. On the other hand their versatility can make them very adaptable, adjusting themselves to control the world around them by means of their inherent ingenuity and cleverness." Just a little bit more about my nature that rings very true. Even the negative characteristics.

So now that you know a little more about my inner self I will carry on. I am a mother of 4 young boys. They are my life and my heart. Mikey is 5, soon to be 6 in December. He is sensitive and has an amazing memory. He is a music lover as well. He just started kindergarten in September and loves it.



Nathan is my 4 year old. He is my little "devil child". Has the bad attitude and is very independent. We love him and his spunk, though his spunk tends to get him in trouble most days ;-)



Dylan is my 2 1/2 year old. He is such a friendly boy and loves attention. He is also the comical one out of the four. He enjoys music and loves to dance and sing.



And then there is the baby. Benjamin is almost 9 months old and he is such a sweet little boy. He has his moments where he loves being cuddled but he also has an independent side to him where he just wants to go and do his own thing.



I am a wife to a pretty amazing guy, Mike. We met back in high school and though we didn't hit it off at first, we ended up hanging out with the same crowd and became best friends. We have been together for 12 years and married for 4 years. It sounds cheesy but he is my soul mate. I don't think we ever use our real names. To me he is "Babe" and to him I am "Babe".





I also have a pretty kick ass brother. He is currently Staff Sergeant in the Unites States Army and he is 25 years old. We didn't always get along when we were younger but I always had his back and always will. Right now he is stationed in Korea with his wife. We don't talk as often as I would like but they are two of my best friends and I am thankful they are in my life.



I am a lyricist. I can write a good set of lyrics like no one's business, but I can not write the music. Another day I will post some of my lyrics for you to read and I always appreciate feedback. Constructive criticism is welcome as I am always looking for ways to improve my lyrical ability. I also am a graphic designer. I love making graphics on the computer and not too long ago I started doing photo editing. Some of my work can be found here at Kelli's Creations

I love tattoos so I finally was able to get my very first one back in September. It is a celtic motherhood knot and each dot represents my children in their birthstone color. Mike and I incorporated our birthstone colors into it as well. I plan on getting many more tattoos, I love them.



My favorite colors are purple, black and pink. My favorite season is Fall.

I am utterly obsessed with the band Breaking Benjamin


I am a fan of the New York Yankees-
I have a weird sense of humor and find things like this



VERY funny.

I am a lover of books and have an extreme fondness for True Crime novels. The more disturbing the better. I also swore off the Twilight series for a long time and then one day I decided to read the books. Became a Twihard around the middle of the first book in the series.

I love to sing. I am not great but I believe I can carry a tune. I love to dance as well and I have pretty good rhythm for a white girl. I am just a lover of music in general. If music ceased to exist I would be one sad Kelli.

Huge animal lover here. I think animals deserve more rights and are treated unfairly.

There is so much more that makes up who I am but this is a little preview of what you can expect to read about me. My husband,my kids, graphics, music, Breaking Benjamin, anything that peeks my interest. If you find me interesting, thats cool. If you don't , hey that is cool too. You should still follow me and tell me what you think about my ramblings.

I am on a mission. A weight loss mission. Lets wander back into the past for a second...

Picture it-An 18 year old Kelli weighing 118 pounds. Curves in all the right places and a nice size C cup. I graduate from high school and become a little less active and manage to gain 32 pounds within 6 years. 2003 I become pregnant with my first child. Throughout this pregnancy I gain 70 pounds. Yes you read that correctly. I was a lazy first time pregnant woman! Figured I was "eating for two" so what the hell...

I have my son Mikey December 4th 2003 and by January 8th of 2005 I have lost 60 of those pounds. Woohoo! Back down to 160. Well, my joy is short lived as far as weight loss is concerned because that is also the day that I find out Mike and I are expecting our second child. With Nathan I gained 45 pounds so I skyrocket back up to 205 pounds. After Nathan I got down to about 190 and stayed there till I got pregnant in 2006 with our third son Dylan. With him I gained about 35 pounds so I was still well above 200 when I gave birth. Fell back down to 190 with Dylan before we moved into our house and within about two months I lost 15 more pounds. Again, I find myself pregnant with our fourth son Benjamin. I gained about 30 pounds with him and lost 25 of it within two weeks after giving birth to him. However, this was in thanks to the horrible flu I had, the post partum depression and the wonderful infection in my c section incision. After I was all better I gained some weight back. Now I am at 188 and I have stayed there for the last two months. Nothing lost yet nothing gained.

My dream goal is to get down to a sexy 125 pounds. Actually according to those crazy charts, I am supposed to be at 123. I am 5 foot 3 inches incase you are wondering. Needless to say, my realistic goal is 140. The dilema here is that I have no willpower. I joke that I used it all to help me quit smoking years ago. But sadly, I am serious. So hopefully knowing that someone out there is going to be reading this and wanting updates about my weight loss (or if you would rather see me fail-my weight gain) it will give me the motivation to work harder at this. Wish me luck!

This is me at 175 lbs